"I saw a baby with hearing aids on and I just never knew they could determine a baby that young is retarded?"

Come on, really? Ugh!

My son is in daycare sponsored by my work and I overheard a co-worker make that comment. What she didn't know was that I was the mother of the child she was referring to. Before she could finish anymore stupid thoughts and before I could rip her head off....the person she was speaking to actually said "Wow, I really think that's an extremely ignorant comment and you should definitely watch what you say because you never know whose presence you are speaking in." I bit my tongue for the time being as I couldn't stomach being laid off and thrown in jail.

What a tailspin that comment through me into. It took me sometime to move past it, and to ensure that on a professional level she was dealt with - and she was. Now, I just try to remind myself that grown people are going to say some of the most ignorant things possible and that's okay, I just need to confront them on it and move on. Mikayla's classmates love when I bring Shiloh to their class - and seeing that they are mostly girls, Shiloh loves it too! At one point one of them asked - what's in his ears? I said 'Hearing Aids', she asked 'Why?' I replied, 'so he can hear us like you do'. She said 'Okay' and ran off to play. It doesn't get better and more accepting than that.

We scheduled his tubes for June 10th, we are looking forward to seeing a lot more responsiveness (hopefully) once we get that fluid cleared up. Although I'm not looking forward to the 'active draining' part. Ewwww.

Shiloh is now sitting up, eating cheerios (I know, what?) and plays with anything in his reach. He babbles non stop, although we are trying to prepare ourselves for the time frame when he goes radio silent. :( That's going to be incredibly miserable.

Mikayla is becoming an expert on his therapy. She loves responding to every sound with "I heard that, did you hear that" - finger pointing to ears and everything! What a great girl! And Mikayla officially hates dance. She has it every Thursday (and I always put her hair in a bun on Thursdays). Last Tuesday I put her hair in a bun, and she immediately said "I'm so tired Mommy" I responded by saying - you know its not dance today, I'm just putting your hair in the bun so you can play" She said, good cause I'm not tired anymore. Then Thursday when I pick her up from School her teacher pulls me aside to tell me how tired she is. And I asked how she did in dance - she said she was too tired to do it. I asked - was she tired on the playground, she responded - 'Well No.' Hello? Anybody in there? She doesn't want to do dance, she's not tired. That girl, cracks me up.

13 comments:

leah said...

Wow- I can't believe someone was that rude and ignorant! Some people are just hurtful and mean. I agree- kids are the best. They just ask an honest question, get the answer, and move on!

Kelly T said...

what an ass! and you are right... it DOESNT get more ignorant than that!! sometimes I am just in awe of how many IGNORANT people there truly ARE in this world. but anyways, good for you in how you reacted. That takes alot of strength. As far as Mik, she is awesome! she is just tooo funny! I wish so much that I could see her and your little man more! what a joy! well i hope you guys are all doing great! and HAPPY LATE MOTHERS DAY haha i hope you had a great one with those babies!! give little man kisses! and tell Mik i said whats up! hahaha

sara said...

Awareness, awareness, awareness... it's so hard to be reminded of that kind of ignorance. I'm glad someone told her so straightly.

With little kids I compare hearing aids to glasses. Some people need glasses to see better and some people need hearing aids to hear better. Usually gets the same response you got. Not a good analogy for adults though because glasses usually work a zillion times better than hearing aids. Unfortunately.

PolyglotMom said...

So sorry that you had to deal with that! You're right about kids though. My little cousin (age 7), asked me why Lucas has to wear his CI. I told her to help him hear. She then asked why he can't hear, and I told her God made him that way. Conversation over. It was much easier than going through the whole explanation, like every week in the nursery at church. Glad someone else set that person straight!!!

Erika P said...

That disrespectful and thoughtless comment would send me through the roof (about the ignorant woman)! How darn anyone make such a statement as that. It took great effort and control to not bite her head off. :D My boyfriend's nephew was born prematurely and when his sister goes to the store with him he gets excited if he sees another boy and reaches out to the other child. Those parents grab their child away from her son with an expression of "Who is this kid?" or "Why does he have no control?" or "Does he know he should not touch another child he does not know?", things like that. I am always without words because I believe it is hard to explain the way we feel and think and getting our point across to other people to make them understand.

I have heard some terrible stories and even the happy endings to them through reading about Deaf applicants. Interpreting for the Deaf is one of my majors and it is very interesting and very involved!

~~I agree with everyone's comment, esp. Sara's--- glasses are cheaper and hearing aids are well, very costly!

thank you for giving me this opportunity to share my thoughts. :)

tammy said...

Hi,
This post caught my eye from the Deafness blog on About.com. This is unreal! Pure ignorance. Sounds like your coworker handled it beautifully though ... and you too! Isn't it amazing how kids handle it so much better? I was a teacher before becoming a SAHM, and when I brought Aiden in to show my class (with his HAs) some of my fourth graders asked what "those things were" on his ears, most said "oh cool", asked a couple more questions, and went on. I can't tell you though how many moms within the school came up to see the baby, saw his hearing aids and immediately got a sad, "oh I'm so sorry" now let me walk away as quick as I can attitude. Amazing. I'd love to link your blog on mine if you don't mind? Look forward to following your beautiful family's story!

Danielle said...

Wow I cant believe someone can be that rude this really upset me to read this... Beautiful Blog.

Danielle said...

Thanks so much for you nice comment. Im sure it is hard make decisons for your young child. See I didnt have what you do for your child. My MOM DIDNT KNOW*** its not that she didnt care. Noone* told her ANYTHING* that is why I struggled. You do a great job and I just wanted to let you know that! I am also add you to my Blog Roll. Please email me at deafinitelyasl11@aol.com. I have a few organizations I would like you to be in touch with.... that really can give you support** and ideas. smile-Hugs.

Anonymous said...

Before we found out our son was deaf, he was tested in the Special Education Class and his tests came back that he was retarded. I took him to get a physical, we were sent first to the ENT Dr., and when he started the testing for his hearing, the Dr. did'nt say much at first, he just kept doing different things with my son, my son had just turned 6 yrs. old at the time, and the Dr. said to me "This boy is deaf, he can't hear." I was devistated. I went home and told my husband, and cried. We talked about it and we had to look at the positive, he learned to read lips, and he also learned 2 languages, we are Lakota (aka Sioux)from South Dakota, and he also learned english. When I told the people in Spec. Ed. what we had found out they were very relieved to hear thier tests were wrong.
My son is not retarded, he will be 9 yrs. old next week and will be going back to school, he is a little behind and thats o.k., he will catch up, he also is looking forward to reading, he is an excellent horseman, he loves to hunt, fish and watch America's Funniest Home Video's. The Creator gave him to us, to love and care for in a very special way. For this I am grateful. Thanks to all of you for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Hi my son was born deaf and had hearing aids from 3 months old it has been a struggle for 5 years now we are starting to see the benifits we have learned him sign lanuageand he can say about 10 words work with your son it will be the most rewarding work you will have ever done dont listen to people they have no deaf awareness

krebscout said...

I just stumbled on this blog after a google search for babies with hearing aids. My five-month-old son just got his, and I've actually found most people to be very kind about it. We're new to this club, though, so maybe the tactlessness is yet to come.

We were at the grocery store last night and my husband was holding our baby. A nine-year-old boy who also had hearing aids came up and hugged our son very sweetly, after which we talked to the boy's mother about HA's.

What I think I'm trying to say, to you and to that little boy, is thank you for providing a supportive community, even if you don't mean to.

Anonymous said...

I came across this entry while Googling for information about babies and hearing aids as my 9 month old son has hearing loss and wears HAs. I have not yet encountered someone quite as stupid - sorry, I think labeling her ignorant actually gives her too much credit - as your co-worker. I guess I should prepare myself for the possibility... Kudos to your other co-worker for speaking up and to you for your restraint. Can't wait to read more of your blog!

-Tricia

Anonymous said...

hello i came across your blog when i was on google searching babies with hearing aids. i cant beleive that lady said that I dont know what i wouldve done. My son is 4 months old and he has hearing loss in both ears. last week he got his ears fitted for his hearing aids, me and my husband got to pick the colors and everything. Now we are just waiting for the hearing aids to come in. Im nervous i dont know whats going to happen. I just hope he could hear and speak clearly. your son is so beautiful i saw his youtube video. he reminds me of my son, he loves to babbly and laugh, i just hope he doesnt stop doing that. Thank you so much for your blog!

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